


That Bat Certainly Looks Smashing...

by Bizzybi



Category: Kirby (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Current (as of this fic) King Dedede/Meta Knight, Hella OOC, I welcome constructive criticism, I'm Sorry, M/M, Past Dark Meta Knight/Meta Knight, This is based off the "lemme smash" meme, This is my first fanfic on this site ever, Very factually incorrect, and plain criticism too, crackfic, shitpost, the one with the birds, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26001235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizzybi/pseuds/Bizzybi
Summary: Meta Knight had a little incident with his magic, and transformed into a bat.  Disliking that he can't hide his cute appearance, he hides in a little cove and sorts through some daggers in the meantime.  However, a frenemy has come back to... seduce him?  But it's different this time...
Relationships: Dark Meta Knight/Meta Knight, King Dedede/Meta Knight
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	That Bat Certainly Looks Smashing...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Poecilotheria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poecilotheria/gifts).



> So, I was browsing through YouTube a little while ago, and, after watching the "lemme smash" meme on repeat a few times, I was inspired! I also was thinking about Poecilotheria's character interpretations of Meta Knight and DMK, and behold, the idea behind this abomination was born.  
> I was originally going to draw a comic of this as well, but I ditched that idea; I'm not a really big artist, but I'm a big writer.  
> So, without further ado, the fic! Feel free to enjoy and give (constructive) criticism! (And feel free to visit her main Tumblr, missymephistopheles, if you like the characterizations.)

Meta Knight did not like this situation. 

He suddenly turned into a bat as a result of faulty magic. He hid from Kirby and company so he could return to his normal form without being embarrassed (he definitely did NOT want to be cooed over how adorable he was; at least in his normal form, he could rely on his helm to hide his cutesy face). In hiding from the group, he found a cove by the town they were at. Mysteriously, there was a pile of daggers in the cove, and he checked them out. Maybe in case he got attacked while in this form, he could utilize a dagger like a sword... Also, in reality, he found bladed weapons fascinating. So, Meta picked through the pile of daggers, setting aside ones that he liked. Just then, another bat flew into the cave. It looked like a regular bat, but Meta was wary nonetheless. It was only when the bat spoke, and when he got a good look at its face, that he realized it was no ordinary bat (then again, bats weren't a vivid blue, either; nor was it normal for them to have a facial scar and torn wings). 

"Lemme smash. Please?" What the fuck? 

It was Dark Meta Knight. An exceedingly annoying idiot who felt that flirting with Meta counted as meaningful interaction. Meta already felt a headache coming on. 

"No, Dark. Go find Shadow Dedede to pester." 

Dark pouted. "Don't you want some?" 

"Absolutely not. I do not "want some"." Persistent idiot, Meta thought as he sorted through the daggers. What was his deal all of a sudden? Sure, he did often flirt with him and others, and he'd make innuendos every chance he got, but this was bold, even for him. Then again, he seems a bit off in his mannerisms... 

Meanwhile, Dark looked around the cave. Maybe he could give something to Meta to win him over... 

"I got you fruit," Dark said as he offered Meta some cherries he picked up off the ground. He became irritated when he saw that Meta went back to sorting through the blade pile. He stomped over and stood in the way of the pile. He then turned around and, when Meta backed up to get space, he waved his rear end suggestively. 

"Are you sure you don't want to? The offer's open," he purred. 

This is just disgusting now, Meta thought angrily. He eventually decides to insult Dark to ward him off. "Your genitals are smaller than average." 

"What?" Dark was clearly taken aback. He just insulted him. He just wanted to spend time with him... He looked around again. "Uh, how about a rock?" Dark asked as he held up a pebble. Maybe he wanted something useful! He threw the rock to the ground when Meta ignored him. "Uh," he waves his hand in front of Meta's face, "swiggity swooty?" He said the first thing that came to his mind; a dumb meme he overheard his younger brother, Shadow Kirby, laugh about. 

...Dammit, it didn't work. He kicked a stray cherry, and the rock he picked up earlier, over to Meta as a silent offer. 

Meta sighed and stood up, finally having enough. "I'm leaving." "What?" Meta flew out of the cave. "No, wait, I wanted to-" He saw that he was gone, and curled up in a black, fuzzy ball. 

...he once found him attractive. He knew that, and knew that the brief casual relationship they had wasn't made up. Unfortunately, the breakup wasn't, either, nor were Meta's feelings for Dedede. And nor were Dark's, for Meta. He should've said something, but he didn't know then. He was, and still is, angry at himself, for not saying anything. And Dedede, for stealing Meta away, as selfish as that thought was. Then again, he already hated Dedede with a passion... 

He shot up, rage coursing through him. "Fuck this moping! Fuck Dedede! Fuck this cave!" Dark went to the dagger pile to find the sharpest and deadliest dagger to gift Meta. Even in his normal form, he did always like sharp weapons... 

It took a while, and some intense scrutiny of the 30 daggers later, he found the one he wanted. "Alright. I hope you like this one, Meta, and that you understand how I feel." Clutching the blade in his feet, he flew out of the cave to go find Meta and confess his feelings, once and for all.


End file.
